Relevence of a feminist essay comes from genuine experiences. No pretenstion, no scholarly exposition of what women theoretically should want or what utopias we can dream up as we clean up the messes of patriarchal society. Some of the best examples of sexism come from other women's mouths.
I made a comment, to an undisclosed person, along the lines of "I'd rather be pale and pasty than have a fake tan [or sunburn]" and was subsequently accused of feeling self-conscious about "being pretty". The reasoning was that since I do not appreciate men hitting on me, I do not like to wear makeup, I shave my legs about once a week and also (I'm guessing) I do not dress myself in typical mainstream attire, I must have a fear of pretty-ness.
Offensive as it was, I did not try to argue about the myth of beauty and what constitues 'pretty' in reality physically and mentally with/out consumer-culture. I defended myself to some degree, but sometimes it's more beneficial to talk to a wall.
Confidence about one's appearance is not dependent on making it a superfical fixation nor is it dependent on what other people's force-fed perception of beauty is. People look beautiful naturally without gimmicks, clown makeup, expensive accessories and in very unique, indivdual ways. Stop trying to be a Barbie and then making everyone else feel bad for not being a Barbie. These are unrealistic expectations that few can achieve, and are irrelevent to the broader scope of existence. I would rather be a humanitarian than a super-model. Neither do I want a man in my life who's relationship with me is based around my appearence, (which if you're belief of beauty comes from pop-culture deteriorates in your mid-thirties) as opposed to my character traits (read: intelliegence, humor, kindness, etc.).
Keep in mind, this ideal beauty being sold to us through advertisements/consummerism/media is coming from big time companies owned by white men that have political influences that keep perpetuating the myth that women are so stupid because they care more about superfical shit than the myriad atroscities that are going on in the world and would rather starve and buy anti-wrinkle cream at risk of death or cancer than to read a book (besides Twilight) - which is not always true and I'm an example of that.
Undisclosed person, if you are reading this, that's why I only shave my legs like once a week, and I don't care.